Self-disclosure

Specification: Factors affecting attraction in romantic relationships: self-disclosure

Self-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is a term coined by Jourard (1971) based on the idea that relationship formation is built on trust with another person, demonstrated by gradually revealing personal information, such as thoughts, feelings and experiences that they might not share with anyone else. Disclosing these thoughts and feelings, and allowing a partner to reveal their ‘true selves’, leads to greater intimacy in romantic relationships, and ultimately to more satisfaction.

Self-disclosure is a central concept of the Social Penetration Theory proposed by Altman and Taylor (1973). This theory claims that by gradually revealing emotions and experiences to a partner, followed by listening to reciprocal self-disclosures from them in return, people gain a greater understanding of each other and develop a deeper trust in their romantic relationships.

Self-disclosure has two dimensions: breadth and depth. Social Penetration Theory uses an ‘onion metaphor’ to describe these dimensions: at first, people often share a lot of information about certain aspects of themselves (breadth) but consider some topics to be ‘off-limits’ (depth). As they build trust in their partner’s understanding, the depth of the information shared becomes deeper. For example, at the beginning of a romantic relationship, people often disclose superficial details about themselves, such as their music taste, hobbies and interests, and gradually move to reveal more intimate details, such as religious and political beliefs, family values and difficult experiences, as the relationship progresses.

In addition to an increase over time in breadth and depth, Reis and Shaver (1988) suggest that reciprocity is also a requisite feature of successful self-disclosure. In order for a relationship to develop further, it means that there must be a balance of self-disclosure between partners. Rather than one partner disclosing and the other just listening, it is expected that they too will share what really matters to them in return. The researchers believe that it is this reciprocal nature to self-disclosure which leads to greater intimacy and deeper understanding in a romantic relationship.

Research Examining Self-Disclosure: Sprecher et al. (2013)

Aim: To investigate the role of reciprocal self-disclosure in relationships.

Methods: 156 university students from America were paired in either female-female or male-female dyads. The unacquainted pairs were asked to engage in a Skype conversation. In one condition, the dyads were asked to self-disclose in a reciprocal manner where each individual in the pair took it in turns to ask the other partner questions about themselves, alternating with making personal self-disclosures. In the second condition, self-disclosure was not reciprocal and instead one partner self-disclosed whilst the other listened, followed by a swap in roles thereafter. Sprecher et al. assessed the dyads for liking of the other partner, how close they felt to one another, perceived similarity amongst the pair and how much they had enjoyed the interactions.

Results: In the condition where the participants self-disclosed in a reciprocal manner, each alternating in the dyad throughout the interaction, individuals reported a greater liking, closeness and similarity as well as more enjoyment of the interaction compared to the other condition.

Conclusion: Reciprocity of self-disclosure, in the form of turn-taking, has more positive outcomes for attraction in relationships than one-sided self-disclosure.

Evaluation of Self-Disclosure

There is research support for the concept of self-disclosure as a factor affecting attraction in romantic relationships. For example, Hass and Stafford (1998) conducted a study with gay men and women to discover how they sustained and developed their romantic relationships with partners. They found that 57% of gay men and women considered open and honest self-disclosure as the most important strategy to maintain a close romantic relationship. This demonstrates the real importance of self-disclosure in romantic relationships, just as the theory has predicted, and also provides an interesting real-world application in terms of relationship counselling. This means that less-skilled partners, with limited communication skills, can focus on developing self-disclosure as a strategy to improve their relationships which will, in turn, improve their satisfaction and connection to others.

The importance of establishing trust in a partner before revealing more intimate information about themselves is supported by the so-called ‘boom and bust’ phenomenon in online relationships. Cooper and Sportolari (1997) found that the anonymity of online interactions gave web-users a sense of security and made them disclose personal information much earlier in their online relationships, making the relationship exciting and intense (‘boom’). However, because the necessary trust foundation is not always established, the intensity of the relationship becomes impossible to sustain, leading to break-up (‘bust’). This suggests that trust needs to be established first, by sharing a range of less important personal information (breadth), before proceeding to a deeper level of self-disclosure (depth), just as Social Penetration Theory suggests.

There is further research support for the role of self-disclosure as a factor affecting attraction in romantic relationships. Laurenceau et al. (2005) asked participants to write a daily diary entry about their relationship. They found that self-disclosure, and perception of disclosure in a partner, led to greater feelings of intimacy. The reverse was true as well – couples who complained about a lack of intimacy self-disclosed less often. This therefore suggests that self-disclosure does, in fact, play an important role in deepening intimacy and feelings of attraction towards a romantic partner.

Extension Evaluation: Issues and Debates

Social Penetration Theory is unable to adequately explain the formation of all types of relationships and is limited by taking a nomothetic approach. By claiming that higher self-disclosure will invariably lead to greater relationship satisfaction, this theory ignores many other factors that can influence relationships, such as cultural practices and personality. Furthermore, by reducing relationship satisfaction to a single factor, Social Penetration Theory ignores many other aspects of romantic attraction, such as physical attractiveness, similarity of attitudes and complementarity. This suggests that research into romantic relationships could benefit from the use of an idiographic approach that studies couples’ unique experiences in detail, rather than trying to establish a set of laws that apply to all couples.

Social Penetration Theory was developed based on research in a Western, individualist culture, so it may not apply to collectivist cultures. For example, Tang et al. (2013) found that men and women in the USA tended to disclose more sexual thoughts and feelings than romantic partners in China; however, the level of relationship satisfaction was high in both cultures. This shows that self-disclosure is not a requirement for successful relationships in all cultures, making Social Penetration Theory culturally biased.

Possible Exam Questions

a) Outline one sampling method the psychologist could use to obtain the participants. (2 marks)

b) Explain one advantage and one disadvantage of semi-structured interviews. (4 marks)

c) Suggest one question that could be asked during the interview to investigate self-disclosure. (2 marks)

Using your knowledge of the role of self-disclosure in attraction, explain Daniel’s behaviour. (4 marks)

Explain how psychological research can explain Peri and Sandy’s experience of a satisfying and long-lasting relationship. (4 marks)